Do you know these situations when people say, „You better not have too much hope.“?
While this advice is mostly meant well-intentioned, almost protective, it surely is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve heard. Ever!
Why? I’ve to ask: Why should this even be considered a good advice? Or an advice at all?
It’s supposed to make it easier, if there’s the great disappointment waiting for you right around the corner. I tell you, it never does make anything better or easier.
Whether the hope was great before, or you were pessimistic and actually only expecting the big disaster already. Yes, that is painful, crushing. Still, it was certainly not the hope that left you disappointed in the end: It was the disappointment!
In times when only hope is the kryptonite that gets you going every day, the only reason you can still look at yourself in the mirror, without melting down.
When hope is the only constant that remains, yes, where exactly does that advice fit in then?
In this situation where I am, where we are, I have heard this nonsense more than a hundred times. I’m not so blinded to recognize good intentions behind that. Nevertheless, this statement is something that really makes me mad. I’d love to get angry, scream, rage and surely hit my head against the wall for several times.
I don’t, I just lie and say: „Yes, I know.“
The reality is: No, I don’t know. Not at all: I know better. Why shouldn’t others, the others that have hope, feel the same way I do?
I do read much more into that chosen „advice“:
You do not realize how essential this hope, which in your opinion should not be too great, is. How people survive on that. Why would you want to prune it then? Who would benefit from that?
It also makes me doubt whether you realize or not – that this is not a question of „having“ or „not having“ hope. How should hope be reduced, in regards to that thing, that great thing that defines ourselves? Is there an anti-hope agent I’ve never heard of before?
Certainly, it is no longer, and no less, one of the well-intentioned phrases that the world does not need. Nevertheless, it certainly conceals good intentions.
„Well meant“ is not „good“ but a halfhearted attempt. And nothing but that.
Perhaps it is this kind of advice that is pulled out of the pocket to let the others know they doubt this hope – even as that is not of interest to me at all. Who doubts and why, is not even a factor. In fact, it couldn’t be more insignificant.
I am clearly not here, to speak up for the sake of reality and the delusion of any decision, task, or even life challenges. I’m sad to realize, that I’m not going to ride on that unicorn to wonderland, like never. I’m also not going to receive that check that would make me a billionaire overnight, by an unknown sender. Not going to happen. Too bad, right?
That the way is long and hard, the fear is often great and shaking us. All while
knowing our miracle isn’t going to happen by tomorrow.
It’s still going to happen.
The property ”hope” can never be too great. As you already know, it dies last.
So, stop trying to keep it small! Stop it already!
For all those who cannot resist giving this „well-intentioned advice“ I’ve this in store:
„Why don’t you try having more of that, your down written hope? Do you need my help to get that handicap fixed?“.
Picture by: Singa