Loving You

Already in my dream, it was clear to me,
my eyes closed tight, I knew
the moment was over.
The time frame in which I had tried
to love you.

Years had passed in which I
looked into your eyes. For hours.
Never able to find it: Love.
Shouldn’t there be a fire?  The spark just didn’t want to ignite.

Only seconds it was,
in which I was almost certain,
I could do it: Love you.
Memories that faded.
Too colorless to stay,
too weak to leave their mark.

In my head, it raged,
there had to be a way,
but my orientation,
it was lost.
Lost like the love for you I wanted to have.

Was it gone forever?
For nights, I saw the shadows dancing.
On the ceiling over my bed,
and in my heart.
Did it still beat?

My hand went over the smooth surface,
Wiped away the dust that covered it.
I stared at you: My reflection.
The reflection so polluted,
Tears invisible.

Turned away. The mirror is hidden.
Love is gone.
Even though, I tell myself…


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