Get over it!

Have you ever asked yourself, how it would be to live in a world where no one says: „Get over it!“?
Like it would be the most important and the most guiding words someone could contribute to your situation. As it would change anything. I’ve often asked myself that, even though I haven’t heard it often. At least not directly into my face.

The reason I thought about that is, I caught myself getting ready to say it. Maybe I did a few times. I allow myself to say, this did not happen to hurt people, no, but to protect myself. To protect me from being overwhelmed by the problems of others, people who’re close to me. People who mean the world to me. Such people I’d build bridges for, if there wasn’t a way they could get to me any longer, people I love with all of my heart.

In these moments I wish I would have said:
„I don’t ask you to get over it like it was the easiest step you could make. What I want for you is that you find a way. The right way for yourself. I want to help you because I love you. The ballast from your problems I carry because I love you. Limits I set because I cannot give more, are not limits of my love for you but they are my protection. To allow you to pass this limit, means for me, I fall. My own life I’ve to put behind yours if you expect it to be more important. I cannot love you more than I love myself. I cannot give more than I have and I hope you understand.

….and I pray that you believe me, while I know it’s not easy.
I know, something’s got a hold on you.
I know, most likely your problem doesn’t mean the end of the world, but, who am I to judge here?
I know, you don’t have a solution, you are looking for a small glimmer of hope.
I know, you hoped, I could present you with the answer you are looking for right now, ready to go.
If I’d have it, it would be yours. It’s the path to find it that makes me struggle.
The disappointment in your gaze because you were hoping I could do more. “

That’s what I’m going to say. Today and in the future.
Let’s ban “Get over it!”
Forever.

6 Kommentare

  1. This made me think of a conversation I had a few weeks ago. I was having a bad day and vented a bit on my Ukrainian fb page and one of my „devoted“ readers said that I’m just sitting at the bottom of my swamp, complaining about the smell and that I should „get over it“. It was really hurtful. I remember replying that it all translates to „I don’t care what kind of problems you’ve got but I’ll teach you how to live your life.“
    But it came from a complete stranger. It’s different if you have to say it to someone you really care about. I’m not sure that I would know what to say if it came to that point that you’re describing.
    When everyone’s tired and just wants to forget about it. There comes a point when there’s nothing you can do, or there’s no point in accepting any more help from others, and words don’t work anymore. You just have to figure it out on your own and for yourself.
    There’s no point in saying „get over it“. There’s a limit to how much you can help and support the other person. I’ve been listening to Jordan B Peterson’s lectures today and he was talking about that and „sorting yourself out“.
    Funny how we are on the same wave today. 🙂

    1. Thank you again! It means a lot to me that you took the time to comment on this. I’m sorry to hear that you had a situation like this. I’m also all against „get over it“ but I agree with what else you said, too. There’s only so much words can do and only so much someone can take and carry for one another. No matter what sometimes external help is the answer, yes. It also made me smile, funny how we’re in the same universe or wave, how you said. 🙂

      1. You’ve struck just the right cord with your blog post. I’ve been thinking about this for weeks now. Thank you. 🙂

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